Warning: Ranting ahead. Here we go!
Okay, so I've been reading this blogger (no, it's not one of you) who has been going through some difficult situations lately, and struggling, and wondering why she can't be more like some of her friends, who are all zen and new-agey and "everything happens for a reason" and "accept that you don't control the universe" and blah blah blah.
And, like everyone else these days, she brought up Aurora. The Batman movie slaughter. The funerals are this week. And I can practically HEAR the ministers, all, "We cannot begin to make sense of this tragedy. But we can use this opportunity to remember to appreciate each other more, to hug our children tighter, to take more time to look at the stars ..."
I don't wanna die in some senseless bizarre tragedy so that somebody else remembers to stop and smell the roses. Frankly, I don't want to die AT ALL. Death is never fine. Death is death. I can't say I learned a damn thing from the passing of a loved one, other than that while time heals and blahblahblah, loss itself never dies.
And if I died, and some asshole said it happened for a reason? To teach others some f*cking life lesson? Screw that shit. Screw that. Death is never for a reason. Death is death. There is nothing redemptive about death. Nothing. It just is.
I mean, we all have to die, just to make room for the next generation. If we all lived forever, there'd be a hell of an overpopulation problem. Just don't make my death some weird kind of life lesson, please. I will come back from beyond the grave and haunt the SHIT out of anybody who tries that. I mean it.
Ah. I feel better now.